Dalene tells of a youth leader she knew when she was in high school who publicly boasted that he wanted to date a thousand girls before he married. The look of disgust as she tells it reveals how it made her feel about him. And how about the poor girls who found out they were number 101 or 845 on one man’s notch-filled dating belt? I am not sure if he ever filled his quota, but there must have been a whole host of emotional casualties in this version of drive-by dating. Why does it sound kind of disgusting? Because it treats people as numbers. And it lacks in genuine concern for developing authentic relationships which take commitment of time and investment of soul.
Years ago there was a young woman who married an eighty year old billionaire and got him to will his entire estate to her. After his death, the man’s family fought this decision in court, rightly feeling that this woman was not genuinely in love with him but only after his money. No one likes to feel used. And we are all deeply suspicious of people who appear to have hidden agendas in their pursuit of people. Certainly no one mistakes that a telemarketer on the phone is interested in anything else than scoring a sale.
I have been thinking a lot lately about motives in missions and especially how it may feel to be on the other end of evangelistic endeavor. If missionaries, pastors and church members do not have as their number one goal the genuine love and care for any unbelieving person, then we may be blind to the fact that, to others, we come off like that youth leader or gold-digging heiress. We can pursue people, but if we do not continue to invest our lives and time in them once they are “caught” then we are guilty of drive-by evangelism. And the world has every right to be disgusted.
